11/30/2013 0 Comments The Beginning (Part 1)Hey There! So – here it is. . .my story. . .the story of learning to live and how I learned to be happy and not only what caused me to get there but how I maintain my happiness (and sanity lol) on a daily basis. Not to overwhelm you, the story will be issued in installments that I will post on a very frequent basis. The first post is written below. I hope that you enjoy. Chris It has been said that you should start a story with the day that everything changed. For me, there is no mistaking when my life took a turn for the worse. . . . It was the day that I broke up with him.
I remember very distinctly how my feet felt like lead as I walked up the 3 flights of my stairs from the garage to my bedroom and the hollowness of my frame as though I was a hundred year old tree with the hole cut right out of the middle of me. I was emotionless. The gravity of the situation, however, didn’t hit me until days later as I sat in a crumpled heap on the floor of my bedroom sobbing uncontrollably, the desperation of my heart expressed in tears what could not be uttered in words; written or spoken. The ending of that relationship was only the straw the broke the camel’s back for it was only one of many things that I was unhappy with in my life. I was at the end of my rope and suicide was a VERY strong possibility because I didn’t know how to pull myself from this abyss of sorrow that I had fallen into. Not only had I lost my ability to find joy, my “happiness blankets” had been snatched from under me that as a result I was sure that there was nothing to live for (literally NOTHING) no purpose, no person, and no goals (and living for other people was not enough) and with nothing to live for what was living worth at all? I prayed but I couldn’t seem to find God through the fog of my emotions. I also read, hoping to find an answer – a glimmer of hope at the least – in someone else’s words when I lighted upon a sentence that was beginning of change in my life. But I’m getting ahead of myself. . . . I guess I should start at the beginning of my story of self-discovery and the journey of the me then to a much happier (and stable) me now. It’s my story of learning myself, RE-learning Christianity, discovering God and how I got to know him very well . . . Read Part 2 Here!
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