5/14/2014 3 Comments Telling The Truth (Part 9)It was one of the longest drives of my life despite the fact that the restaurant was only two miles away from my home, and quite frankly, I was scared. I didn’t know if my recurring dream would be accurate but I knew that I had to try. So I did what I always did when fear tries to grip me. I prayed. It had been a year since we talked in person and I didn’t know what his reaction would be. All I knew is that I needed to do this.
I arrived at the restaurant first. I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat – so I only ordered something to drink. I wanted to go over my prepared notes of what I wanted to say and I knew eating something would only distract me and besides, with the way that I felt, it wasn’t likely to stay down anyway. That’s when I saw his car pull up. With a dry mouth and clammy hands – once he was seated in front of me – I forged ahead and as the words and apologies flowed from me, so did the tension and fear that I once had of this conversation as well. And what started out quite unsteadily ended quite well. I began by explaining to him that he had been right and not that my reason for breaking up with him would make it alright but that I had been scared of the truth and what was ahead of us thus explaining why I had ended our relationship more than once. I also told him, that I was there to clear the air between us and to say the things that had remained unsaid yet needed to be verbalized so that both of us (more importantly myself) could move on. And that it didn’t matter the outcome of this meeting whether or not things remained the same between us, whether or not we became “friends” again or whether we got back into a relationship again. Neither of those options were my goal. My goal was to clear my head and heart so I could answer an issue that to me it had become obvious had not been addressed. He sat and listened and slowly I watched as his face changed from hardened resolve to a relaxed interest in what I was saying and I knew in that instant that God had given me the right words to say and had shown me favor. Encouraged by his response, I continued on even more certain and happily than before, ending my spiel by stressing my response from before and how good it was to finally sit and speak with him in person after all this time and how thankful I was that he had agreed to this face-to-face meeting and how good it felt to finally get all of that off of my chest. Whew! Long story short, we ended up getting back into a relationship which I think was important for both us to do to prove to us both what we (at least what I) knew anyway and to answer the otherwise looming question: Is he the one for me? – A question that needed to be answered and soon. It was the very question that I had run from so many times before and the question which had internally fueled many of our breakups. But now, I looked closely at what my boyfriend did and listened to other’s opinions about our relationship was and everything seemed right. . .but yet and still, I couldn’t quite seem to be at rest when it came to settling here. Talking to my mother over lunch one afternoon that question “Is he the one?” was addressed again. My mother (as she always does) so wisely answered, “I don’t know. This is something you’re going to have to seek God about.” And so I did. . . . Click Here to see what Happens Next! Read the previous entry Part 8 here. . .
3 Comments
Shy old fashioned guy
6/2/2014 12:57:02 am
You have been doing this blog for some time now. Well congrats. Shame that I am Just now visiting this site. Glad you are getting some answers. I look forward to hearing what is next along this journey. I will be praying for you!
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Christina
6/2/2014 07:27:02 am
Thanks!! Good seeing you on yesterday! ;-)
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Christopher Pompey
6/2/2014 01:53:48 pm
Ha ha ha So much for being anonymous. It was good to see you as well. Your writings are good, I look forward to reading more. Leave a Reply. |