5/3/2019 0 Comments learning to be uncomfortable “I know both how to be abased and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. – Philippians 4:12 (KJV) I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13 (KJV) I know how. Hmmm I. know. how. to be. . This then would mean that to be able to be abased and to abound is a skill. To be able to manage being hungry and full at the same time. To be able to suffer and to enjoy and to not give too much credence to either one. It’s a skill worth learning because joyous / celebratory / good times will come as will hurtful /hard/ sad / sufferable times but the questions is, can you allow both? Can you?
Can you embrace negative emotion, allow it and keep going? I think that when we encounter negative emotion many times we think we’ll always be there and so we fight it thinking that this is something that “shouldn’t be”; but, this too shall pass. Paul states here that he has been instructed (by God) to be full and to be hungry to abound and to suffer need. Nothing is all good or all bad but always a mix of both. (i.e. “…everywhere and in all things I am instructed…). Expecting anything to be otherwise can give one little staying power because at the first sign of negative emotion our defenses go up and we begin to resist instead of allow. What does allowing unwanted emotions look like? Allowing means to acknowledge, to hear or to listen to yourself be it in the form of journaling (my preferred method), venting (in a recorder) or otherwise. It means to say what you need to say in that moment and to acknowledge how you earnestly feel, be it sad, disappointed, angry, etc and somehow this very action of allowing yourself to be and not condemning yourself (as though you shouldn’t be feeling these particular emotions) allows you to move on from them. When I acknowledge the fact that I may miss one of my ex-boyfriends or that I feel disrespected when someone has treated me a particular way, even though I “shouldn’t”, usually after writing about it that feeling passes and I’ve done nothing that I will regret later. You may be saying, “Well I’ve done that. I’ve acknowledged, vented, taken time to explore or wonder why I might be feeling a particular way and nothing’s happened”; but sometimes you must revisit the same emotion again and again (as I’ve often had to do) look at it, consider it, ask yourself questions about it; and the process can take months, years even. But that’s okay – it’s part of the process and trouble don’t last always. One may never know how long this process will take (quite frankly it’s a lifestyle practice) but it doesn’t mean that it’s not worth starting and most times after each session that you have with yourself, you will always feel better. If you can expect when you take on any new venture in your life, be it a new career, a marriage, a baby, a new friendship, a relationship, a new home, new neighbors, that you’re more than likely going to encounter negative emotion associated with that, you increase your level of endurance several times over. This is good news, in that you won’t be looking for something “perfect.” Didn’t God say after all that his strength is made perfect in weakness? (Chapter / verse). If things are ”perfect’’ where is the need for him? (Perfect is subjective after all. What I deem as such, another may be appalled at.) It is also a good thing in that we then won’t always be looking for that “elusive” happiness carrot (that would be called heaven LOL). God never instructs us to do things without help; which is why Paul immediately follows up verse 12 with verse 13, which states “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” You can sustain the discomfort of life with the mind of Christ. You can be angry and sin not. You can hear your phone and not reach for it. You can be beeped at in traffic and not go into rage. You can feel like not getting out of bed but get up anyway. You can. You just have to develop that muscle. You can be like Christ where, as Peter describes him, “when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.” That quality of character is no easy feat. I won’t say we should be there, until we want to be there and maybe we should aspire to be there. I am not here to argue such things; what I will say however is that it is possible to be there and to be like Christ in this manner and if we can allow for these incongruences in our lives who knows what things we could accomplish? Ever in my quest for happiness, I’m learning that if I can train myself for challenging things, I will have reached true happiness; a stronger happiness and fulfillment that goes so much more deeper than momentary pleasures and a resistance of negative emotion could ever provide and I am willing to do just that. We’ll do it together. Won’t you join me?
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